Monday, June 18, 2018

This is how dating and marriage was before the modern age clashed with cultures and traditions!

Most of you call what I want to share with you today ' Dating' but for me I call it 'Courting'

What was a date or courting like in those days before the modern age crushed in? Well, in this post I am going to simply share with you what actually happened in those old day’s culture when it came to dating and marriage in Tanzania. This might not include all tribes, but most of them are familiar with what I will share here.

I wouldn't call it dating in such a way, but since we are in the modern world, let's call it dating, even though it never looked in such a way we would call dating nowadays, this is because it simply went straight to marriage. There wasn’t any  time to play the dating games people in today's world play.
So, when it came to dating, this is what would actually take place before the day of marriage came:
If a man liked a woman he would tempt to approach her, if the woman likes the guy, she would ask him to leave his shirt behind to assure her for his return. Leaving the shirt behind was meant to approve that the woman has agreed to marry this guy. It also meant that the guy's request has been accepted, and the girl has agreed to get married to him.

The guy would then go and talk to his parents to about it. If the family agreed that the family where their son was going to get a wife from was the right family, the parents would give their approval and what follows next are the arrangements for a marriage (a traditional wedding).

A representative from the male side would be sent to meet with the female's side; these representatives might be uncles or clan leaders. On the day of meeting, a meal would have been prepared for them as they talk and discuss about the marriage. If the female side agrees to marry their daughter off, then the next step would be a discussion on the dowry to be paid.

After their discussion is concluded on the dowry to be paid, they would head back home to discuss it with the rest of the family. Most of the time if both families think that the marriage for both of their children is appropriate, then the dowry was to be paid and the marriage carried out as planned.
Bear this in mind, the girl on the other side had to present the shirt to show that she agreed to get married.

After all the processes were completed, and the wedding ceremony carried out, the shirt was then returned to the owner, whom by then is the husband. After all these, a fruitful and happily marriage was to be seen as a result. Marriages that took place back then lasted longer than the average we can expect today.

As we can see, the shirt was a medium to ask someone to marry you if you were a man. If the shirt was rejected, then you knew that there weren't going to be any wedding ceremony. In today's generation everything has become complicated, but what can we say! This is how the world keeps evolving.

Marriage in African culture, from North to South, East to West is hands-down one of the most significant rites of passage. It is the most celebrated ceremony in all African cultures. African weddings are a spiritual and social family affair and involve the combining of two lives, two families, and even two communities! There is no great civilization that has ever existed that abstained from marriage as one of its core fundamentals of nation building.

Thanks for reading this post, more on old days relationships to come. Remember, if you do have any tips and extras to add on, you are more that welcome to leave me a comment below..

Because of His love, I am forever a secure package
Chaow Chaow!

Rumishael Ulomi is a Freelance Christian Consultant, Life Coach, and Motivational Speaker in the areas of Christian Ministry, Business, Entrepreneurship, and Social Sector development residing in Moshi,Tanzania.


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